Ignorance is Bliss!

Today's post is to share the ignorance of one woman who posted an unnessasary selfish comment on a forum I'm part of at: http://www.twoweekwait.com/ To this day, this site has given me the endless joy of friendship with other women going through infertility. The Hopes & Prayers, tears of joy for others & loads of information/help going through the same thing as me. It is sad to have to wake up on this fine Sunday morning to read such ignorance.

As you all know, my insurance has approved my IVF 80% coverage which was a blessing in itself, but my meds aren't covered. So as many women before me (including myself on my last IVF cycle) have requested med donations from other women who have no use for their Gonal, Follistim, Menopur, etc. that were covered by their insurance. Back in March, I had a fundraiser going and a med donation too and never, ever come across a person who didn't feel my pain. My desire and long to bare a child of my own. During that time, I met the most caring, generous, beautiful souls one could ever be graced by. Women I didn't even know, donating $$ to my fundraiser & meds. It was so unbelievable.

So on that note, to make light of today's turn of events you must see what was left for me on my post on the site mentioned above.....

(1st) is my original post....

"Hi ladies...it seems like so long ago but I'm back! I'm back on the IVF wagon, trying to make it happen at the end of this month. As many of us who don't have RX coverage, we face fertility med costs they are indeed my biggest concern at this moment. I spent the whole day yesterday trying to find a company or site that may help with meds. With no success. My first IVF I did a great program through Fertility Lifelines. They supplied all the meds (Gonal-f) for that cycle. But it was ONLY a one time deal. I recommend those of you who've never done the program and are in need of Gonal to go to their website. Call the number and ask about their Care program. It's wonderful. Again, the sad part is it's only good for one time. It's even more sad when it don't work the 1st time, such as my case and many of us. I visit all the sites that people are selling their leftovers, but I'm trying to save money for the IVF treatment copay (over $2500). Really can't afford to spend the money on the meds. With that said, I thought I'd ask if anyone had any Menopur and/or Gonal-F to donate. Please PM me if you can help. Thanks a bunch (in advance)! Lorrie"

(2nd) is her reply (mandiedq).....

" Woah! It is illegal to share/sell prescription drugs! It is also a violation of the terms of service. I put an excerpt here for you and bolded the part that specifically states this.
Quote:
2. Promotion of External Web Sites, Products, Services, etc.: Commercial postings of all kinds are prohibited. The selling of drugs, tests and other products, fertility related or not, is prohibited. Posting for the sole purpose of generating traffic to external sites (commercial or not) is also prohibited. Community members are asked to support and respect this vision and refrain from engaging in any kind of commercial activity, product, business or site promotion in the community Forums, whether or not it is related to fertility and pregnancy. In addition, members are asked to refrain from targeting this community and its members for research or conducting focus groups for any purpose - academic, commercial or otherwise.

LorrieS, I see you posted the same message on the other side, too, and a couple of mods locked and told you this was not appropriate for this site."

(3rd) is my reply to her.....

"I'm not wanting to buy meds. I was looking for donations to help out. Not all of us have the luxury of having the fertility meds covered. Many times, it's other people that make this a difficult process when we're all here for the same outcome....to have a baby. I myself gave meds to help others who are having a hard time. There are many helpful & caring women on this site that beg to differ. Sorry to offend. The mods can delete all my donation request posts."

With this vent shared, I'm over it...

But by no means did I EVER intend to offend anyone or cross the line as to wanting a child.

Thanks for letting me vent. Movin on.....God is good!

GOD IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is a day of blessing! A day in my life that for the last year or so I thought would never come. The thought of another IVF cycle not being possible again is no more!!

We have been approved by our insurance for 3.....YES 3 IVF cycles!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have until July 2010 to use them. By the grace of God and all his blessings I am beyond relief. When April's (out of pocket) IVF cycle failed, I was beyond devastated. I was sad beyond words.

This day was not possible in my mind. I needed to be approved for a better insurance and thought there's just no way THAT will ever happen. Thinking our TTC days through fertility treatment were something of the past......no HOPE in sight. God showed me that things are possible if your desires are from the heart. He heard my endless cries for a second chance. I know IVF is created by human life on earth, but the Lord is the only way of making such creations possible for human life. To bring such miracles to help women like me. I am grateful.

Thank you God. I love you. I know you will follow me through this and be with me every step of the way. I have Faith in you. The path you have set before me is the path you want me to follow. You will lead me to my hearts desires of becoming a Mother. I know you will. When the time is right for me. Amen.

UPDATE...

Nothing new as to insurance but I will be starting Fertility Acupunture on Monday, August 31. It's wonderful that I found someone local and I only have to travel 10 minutes. She sounds wonderful and very knowledgable in Feritility. She is credited in this field. I hope this helps with preparing our second attempt at IVF. I'm feeling ready to try new things that have helped so many others. The Acupunturist was very surprised when I told her my FSH number (7). She thought that was incredable at my age. I hope she can help us.

Insurance companies.....UGH!

Good Morning everyone! Here's where I'm at.

Went in for my CD3 b/w and u/s yesterday. FSH 7 (wow!) and all my other numbers were great as well! I was given the ok to start BCP's (birth control). I'm not a fan of this process but we must do what we must. I'm still in limbo with the insurance company and them approving this IVF cycle. I can only HOPE & PRAY. My nurse said that she really thinks they were waiting for my CD3 tests before they approve the cycle. She said it was mentioned in the paperwork from their office. So we shall see. I hope she's right!

Much blessings to my friend Amy as she embarks on her 2WW tomorrow!!! Stick little beans STICK!! xox

I will KUP on the outcome with my insurance. =)

Today she came....

Well as expected....the 'witch' is in town as of this morning!! The good ole 'reassurance' that one day I may be able to conceive a child because really without her making a 'regular' appearance every month, I'd be clearly out of luck!

With this said, we shall now wait & see if IVF is approved or not. Like I mentioned in my previous post, it's all in the insurance company hands now. A scary place to be really. Monday my 3rd day bloodwork is scheduled to commence the IVF process, but as I told the nurse on Wednesday, I won't be going through with my appointment if it's not approved. Unfortunately & very sadly, the road will end there. It would be quite the heart break if after fighting for so long to find insurance coverage (even if it's not full coverage) it came down to this!! Beyond crushing....really. Please pray for us as we try to embark on another chance on this journey. I will KUP!

**If we do go ahead with IVF, I wanted to let anyone out there reading my blog know that I am looking for med donations. Paying for the copay on IVF is going to break us as it is. Times are tough, as for many of us. If you have any Gonal-f and/or Menopur left over it would be great appreciated. Much Love.

Ok Ok Ok!!! I know!!! I'm not a 'real blogger'. I have been an awful blogger!! lol Sorry I haven't updated til now but to tell you the truth.....I haven't had the energy inside myself to blog about the same problems or emotions that I've been feeling since my last post. It's a ongoing delema and it really rips at your soul. But today I'm here and that's all that counts, right??

So no BIG news or shock to find out peeing on stick this cycle has inevitably resulted in the same outcome. BFN (Big Fat Negative!!!) We are now moving on (hopefully) to another round of IVF in Sept or Oct. It's all in the 'insurance companies' hands. Isn't it always??? I fought so long and hard to finally be approved for some coverage such as this and I'm still in limbo because it STILL has to be approved through them!!!! Here we go again. I spoke with the financial advisor at the Clinic yesterday & said she submitted the 'paperwork' for IVF to them around 4 weeks ago. Yippee Ky Yay M'er F'er!!!! So we wait.....biting our nails......clinching at some shear of hope that this may be possible one more time!! So will it be........... the END OF ROAD for us or.......tears of joy that we will be blessed with 'another try'? Let's all pray it's not the end my dear friends.

Working on a dream

Today I got my thoughts together and said to myself, Lorrie if you're going to make something a reality you have to stop worrying about the things in your way and try and help yourself. So, I did some research on the internet, poked around, got on the phone & called my health insurance company to see if there was any other RX plan I could get that has better prescription coverage than the crappy one I have now. Even though that was a 'negative'.... I must perservere!!! I found this other thing through a company called 'icore'. I'm waiting to hear back from the nurse. They have this 'Infertility - Therapy Enrollment' program that I'm wondering about and even if it's something that might be my ticket to getting the meds I'll need to do my IVF cycle. Who knows! I really want this to happen at the end of this month. I won't give up! I was looking forward to jumping back on the IVF bangwagon and it just hurts my heart so much not knowing if that will happen any time soon. I'll be 43 in 6 months and my time is valuable dang it!!!

**UPDATE**

Back to the drawing board.....icore is a no go! :-(

Almost the weekend =)

Not much going on today. It's Saturday and I work.....unfortunately. But I can't complain, I have a great job. Pretty easy job to tell you the truth. I manage a Community Clubhouse in some 'fancy schmanssy' neighborhood. Mostly higher rank military folks that live there. I'm also the Events Coordinator....I work with kids alot and it's something I enjoy.

As for TTC, things are pretty much on hold unless some miracle upon miracles comes along financially. If so, we will be able to do another IVF cycle. I was so hoping for it to happen in August/September but when I came back from being away on vacation for the whole month of July, I had a shit load of bills and property taxes that are due at the end of September, well a partial payment anyway. It's still a BIG chunk! We're also working with a 'Mortgage Consultant' company to fight our current mortgage company for a loan modification and that's costing us $2600!!! OUCH!!! But if it gets us into a fixed mortgage instead of this damn Arm we have now, then it will be worth it. We now have the majority of IVF covered under the new insurance we were approved for, but we still have to pay 20% of the procedure which will come to $2500 or so & does not include costs of the meds. Those will run us well over $3000. I had great luck in the past with donation meds from other women who have some left. It's been a blessing to have so many kind women who have done so for us. IVF is harder because you need soooo much more. It's quite the journey to say the least! Well, maybe my miracle will be conceiving miraculously on our own this month????? LOL! Now that would be somethin!

I'll keep you posted!