3 BLASTS Tranferred!!!!

I must say, this transfer was the 'weirdest' ET or should I call it a BET ever this morning! A very confusing and actually disturbing transfer because of the 'whackiness' of it all. What I mean by this is (and it's hard to describe by typing it out)but I give it a whirl. lol

First the Dr smelled so badly (smoke breath)...DH thought he just stunk period!

Second he said I had 12 embryo's growing and now 6 stopped growing and I have 6 left. 2 that were blasts and 4 others growing with another one almost a blast.

Then with that said, the embryologist comes in and he checks with her. She gets the puzzled look on her face like she's still at 'last nights party' or something and shakes her head somewhat like 'that's not her diagnostic' or something and goes back into the lab to check. Comes back and says something different, but sort of the same. I looked at DH like "WTF is going on???". I said the the Dr and Embryologist, "I hope you both are going to give me my embryos to transfer!" I tried to sound like I was cool and joking about it but I wasn't. I was really annoyed at their unprofessionalism.

So anyway....she went back into the lab, came back and said "no Dr is right, I was looking at another patients chart." At this point I could feel my blood boiling! She did say that the third one had become a blast as well since this morning.

So ladies with all this confussion (which I still am) they transferred 3 blasts today. I supposably I have 2 embries still growing but they will keep them until tuesday and see if they are fit to freeze.

But I'm still so confused because the Dr started the whole thing with saying how I had 12 and then 6 stopped growing and I had 6 left and now they transferred 3 and he says I have 2 left. Well buddy, back when I went to school 3 + 2= 5!!!!! SO WTF??? Let me tell you, at this point I don't know what I have left. Both him and the spaz embryologist were whacko and really not on the same page from the start.

All I know is right now I have my 3 blast embryo's inside my uterus at this moment and I am very happy to say they are safe with me.

I was blessed to have 3 blasts and I will pray for whatever ones I have left growing in the lab, 2 or 3 if they can get their crap together to know how many!!! lol


God is good! I have Faith that this is it!! It's got to be!

5 DAY TRANSFER!!!!!

Well the Lord keeps blessing us this fine day! Like I would EVER doubt His blessings or not have the FAITH that He continuously places in my heart.

First, the nurse that called yesterday 'misread' my results, I had 10 embryos growing not 11.

As of this morning the embryologist pushed me to a DAY 5 TRANSFER!!!!! WOW! 1 embie out of the 10 has 20% fragmentation, all other 9 don't have any!! I guess this is why they want to go the 'distance' and make it a 5 day transfer.
I Hope & Pray most of them or ALL make it to blast. That would be so unbelievable. God is good and I have to believe He's brought me this far for a reason.

I'm still in utter shock over how all this is coming along.....no going to lie....I'm nervous too.

So with this said, I will KUAP. They'll be calling me back this afternoon with a time for Sunday!

Please keep my embies in your prayers, that they continue to grow and I may have some to freeze for maybe a future miracle too!

I know alot of you who read my blog don't have a clue as to the 'ins' and 'outs' of all this 3 day or 5 day transfer of embryo stuff, so just to give you a bit of help....here's a link for you to visit so that you can sort of understand the difference. There are good and bad about a 3 or 5 day transfer, but as you will see, a 5 day transfer withstands the most success if the embryo's make it to that stage.

http://www.inciid.org/printpage.php?cat=fertility101&id=411



God Bless.

xoxo
Lorrie

A PRAYER FOR TODAY
"Father in heaven, today I declare my thanks to You for all You have done in my life. Help me see Your hand of blessing as I continually acknowledge and praise Your name. Fill me with Your peace and joy as I keep You first place in all that I do. In Jesus' Name. Amen"

TODAY'S WORD
Gratitude is a powerful force in the life of the believer. No matter what may be happening in the world around you, you can always find something to thank God for. Having constant gratitude shows that you have faith in God because not only do you thank Him for what He has done in the past, you thank Him for what He will do in the future. It's that kind of faith that pleases God and causes Him to move on your behalf.

Constant gratitude also shows humility because when we are thankful, we magnify God instead of magnifying our problems. It gives us proper perspective and opens the door for God's grace, favor, and supernatural empowerment.

So what are you grateful for today? Are you grateful for the sun that shines and brings us a new day? Are you thankful for the gift of eternal life?As you choose an attitude of constant gratitude, you'll experience His mercy and lovingkindness in greater ways. You'll be filled with His peace and joy and be empowered to move forward into the abundant life He has prepared for you!

BLESSED by the good LORD!

Well I have the most exciting and SURPRISING news I can ever be 'Thankful' for.....

I got the call on my way home from the hotel about my results of the 12 eggies retrieved. well you won't believe this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


12 were retrieved
10 out of the 12 were mature
As of this morning when they checked.....

I now have 12 EMBRYO'S!!!!!

My jaw dropped as I was driving and DH was looking at me like "What?!! What?!!" I asked the nurse "how could this be if 10 were mature?" she said "well the other 2 matured during the night and fertilized as well."


Girls I did pray for this last night at the hotel. I asked God to bring them all to me today.....fertilized!! I really wanted to have the most chances this month of even having some to freeze. I will be Hoping & Praying for them all!! :D

IVF #3 is here!!

Sorry I haven't been posted in sometime, but there was really nothing going on besides my complaining. lol. The new shots (Lovenox) are really something to be desired to say the least, but again I must do what I must do.

Here's a recap of where I am. My E2(estrogen levels) were rising quite nicely all week. Slow but steady and as I've been told by many, at a great pace. Fast is not always good, especially when you're growing follicles. ;-) So I Hope & Pray that the Follistim (switch from always using Gonal-F) made the world of different with my little eggies. =)

11/16/09 E2 = 239
11/18/09 E2 = 529
11/20/09 E2 = 975
11/21/09 E2 = 1269

To tell you the truth, I was really hoping for another day of stims but they recommended we trigger last night as I had some pretty big follicles thus far and they didn't want to chance losing any of them (supposably) mature ones. So here I am triggered and all! Thanks to my husband who bravely took over that task! I was shocked that it ended up being HIM her gave it to me. My nurse friend had to work this morning at 5am so 11pm last night was kind of pushing it for her to do it for me. I understood. I was a nervous wreck and upset all the way around that I didn't have her to do it, but again, I UNDERSTOOD her situation. She's been so great for me all the other cycles.

Tom (husband) and I have decided to stay in a hotel tonight and tomorrow as well. We usually only stay up the road on the night of Egg Retrival but decided to get away after all for the 'extra' time away. We'll go out to dinner tonight and just chill in the room. We'll be 5 minutes away from the hospital, so tomorrow morning will be alot less stressful than driving in the traffic.

So there you have it! Please pray that this cycle (even though it has been very stressful and emotional for me) will turn out to be the 'ONE' I've been waiting for. The positive, sticky bean one!!

I'll KUAP!

God Bless.

XOX

Things are moving along....

Well folks, just a short update. Went for my 2nd ultrasound & bloodwork this morning. We now see a total of 11 follies, 5 were measurable. Nothing else really to report. I'll KUP :)

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

It's been 7 days.....I'd better update something!

Sorry everyone. Not much going on except the same process from last IVF cycle. I started Lupron on Wednesday and stims on Friday. I'm trying an 'all follistim' cycle and see if that will bring us a 'sticky' BFP. Follistim seems to have brought many women I know luck, if I dare to call it that.

Other than that, not much else is going on. Thought I'd pop on to at least let you know I'm alive!! lol. We do have our first ultra sound on Monday, but the first one after 4 days of stimming is kind of boring...you see some eggies coming along but it really gets interesting or more exciting on the second ultra sound. More action going on!! I'm still doing acupuncture twice a week. I'll be starting my added protocol this coming Wednesday (Dexamethasone & another injection called Lovenox). We'll see how that flies. Oh and I tried to take these herbs I had ordered to help with the implanting process but you have to take 12 capsules a day!! That's right, 12! :-0 Well, you can't say I didn't try. I took 6 (gaggin so badly, but did it) and it wasn't 10 mins later my stomach was hurting me so bad! So I tried calling the company but it went to a voicemail and I asked for a refund. I paid $250 for them....they should refund my money if I return them. I have yet to hear from them. I see how that's going to go!

Anyway, I felt after that ordeal I wasn't going to ADD anymore to my protocol, I take enough. Don't want to mess anything up. Taking too many things could be more harmeful and good. So I'll leave it alone.

So that's it! I'll KUAP on how MOnday's appointment goes. Come on FOLLISTIM!! DO your thing for me!!! =)

BCP's or Depression??

I think I'm losing it. Seriously. I've been so 'out of my skin' this past week with so much stress in my life that even my acupunturist said she can tell by looking at my tongue (as they all do before treatment). She said that I'd better try and calm down and/or get rid of what's or who's bothering me so much before we get any further into this cycle because IT WON'T WORK!!!! I already feel defeated and I haven't even started my IVF cycle yet, 'per say'.

I took a milder birth control pill this time around because last cycle I was even worse on the other kind. These moods and over-baring depressing feelings, always crying and freaking out, have just started about a week & 1/2 ago. I really hope I can shake it. Tomorrow (Sunday) is my last day on these God awful pills. I'll be starting Lupron on Wednesday. I go in on Monday first for my u/s and bloodwork to commence things. They just make sure everythings 'quiet' in there as the pill usually does. Then we'll be set to start stims (injections).

I keep praying for strength and trying to keep my Faith alive. It's hard after my loss last cycle. I want my little bean back so badly right now. I want to be pregnant and not have to do this again. But I know there's a reason for everything and I really do have to find that 'place' inside my heart to try again. I'm scared it won't ever turn out positive again. It pains my heart.

"Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, - that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it's all darkness outside. Now is the time to keep that faith alive."

On your mark, get set....

Not that I like to put it in those terms, but I feel like a new race has started! It's by no means A RACE in any sense of the word. IVF is a time consuming, very expensive and emotional process. But here we are once again. Embarking on what I hope will be 'third times a charm' and FINALLY brings us our miracle. So here we go! Clinging to our Faith and Hope we start a new cycle.

I'm coming to the end of BCP (birth contol pills) on Sunday (happy beyond words about that!), I went for my Mock Transfer yesterday (it's where they place a catheder into the uterus and insert saline to make sure there are no adnormalties before starting the cycle)all was good! Next Wednesday, I will be starting Lupron and then stims on Friday, all injections. All just a week away! My estimated Egg Retreival and Egg Transfer is on Thanksgiving weekend. May I be as bold as to put a 'punt' there??? My loving RE changed my protocol. He is added 2 meds. One that helps with implantation and the other to sustain the pregnancy. I'm hoping and praying this makes all the world of difference this time around.

Turkey in the oven! LOL! I couldn't resist!

I hope you join me once again on this journey.

God Bless you all for taking the time to read my blog.

Needed Prayers.....

If you find the time, please read the story of my good friends 17 year old son Jordan. His story is nothing shy of courage, bravery & uplifting spirit even in his darkess hours which are upon him now. His father, Jay, has been his sons narrator of all Jordans' coming and goings with treatments and also sharing the sad and alot of times encouraging news for the past 2 years since he was diagnosed with cancer.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/JordanPaganelli%20


I prayed to God this morning. Do you know what I asked him??? I asked God to spare Jordan's life by taking just one of the souls that were lost through miscarriages and/or abortion. Was that wrong to ask that of Him? I am gutted for Laurie (his mother). I can't imagine her pain right now. Just waiting for him to die because there's no more they can do at the hospital. I didn't mean to pray that, it just came to me in prayer. It was stronger than my thoughts to try and not ask for such a thing in that manner.

God Bless you Jordan.

Today's Word

Many people today don't realize that the reason they're not happy, the reason they're not enjoying life is simply because they've trained their minds in the wrong direction. They've trained their mind to worry. They've trained their mind to complain. They've trained their mind to see the negative. But just as we can form these negative mindsets, we can retrain our minds and form positive mindsets.

One of the main keys to developing a positive attitude is to learn how to stay grateful. When you stay grateful, you are focusing on what's right rather than what's wrong. This doesn't happen automatically, you have to discipline yourself to focus on the positive. You have to make a conscious effort every single day until a good habit is formed.

Remember, when you live with an attitude of praise and thanksgiving, you are shielding yourself from the attacks of the enemy. The seeds of discouragement cannot take root in a grateful heart. Neither can bitterness, envy, or strife. When you have a grateful heart, you are strong. You are empowered, and you can confidently enjoy the good life He has prearranged for you!



A PRAYER FOR TODAY
"Father in heaven, today I surrender my thoughts and mind to You. Help me retrain my thoughts so that they are in line with Your will for my life. I choose to have a positive attitude of faith and expectancy and thank You for empowering me to enjoy the good life You have for me. In Jesus' Name. Amen."