Got confirmation today that the Association meeting last night went well over all, but nothing about my position changed and they're moving ahead with the decision of making my position part time starting January 1, 2011. I need to let them know by this Friday, December 10th if I'm staying on. What the hell do they think??? I can just leave? I probably could and claim maximum unemployment for 6+ months and stay home and search for a job, but like my husband says, I'm not the type who feels worth anything staying at home. Plus if I do take it, I can still claim a 'partial' claim and make about $100 less a week for the time being while I'm still searching for a new full time position hopefully with benefits this time. I'm so worried though. Sick to my stomach with worry. How will I continue to pay the bills I have making $400-500 less a month? How do I move forward with my dreams of becoming a mother in 2011 as I was so hoping for? How do I keep paying for my individual health insurance that's $330 a month not including dental or vision? I'm sick to my stomach I tell ya, just sick.
But no matter what, I'm going to have to bite the bullet. Go without paying some bills and those would be credit cards, I have no choice. The debt is high, but so is my stress. I want a normal life. Dreams that are obtainable. I'm tired of hurting and being hurt. Where do I find the strength with each passing heartbreak and disappointment? Lord, have I not been tested enough? There are far worse of people, I know this and understand this, but I have had my fair share of heartaches and let downs in the past 17 years that I feel it's time. Time for my dreams to come to pass. I beg of you Lord.
2 comments:
Lorrie I'm so sorry this is happening. I was really hoping they would reconsider. You have had such a hard road and don't deserve any more heartache. It's so sad that for some to have a child it comes down to if you have the money or not. It shouldn't be that way. I hope that something comes your way and maybe even a better job, you never know. So sorry :(
Oh no! I am so sorry, Lorrie. I hope and pray that a wonderful new opportunity comes up for you. You don't deserve this stress. It seems like you have a way of finding opportunities and making plans, so hopefully this will all turn around soon. Good luck. *hugs*
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