August IVF

I have finally made up my mind and with this 'mind set' I can enjoy the rest of my summer and prepare my body and soul for IVF. We decided last night after talking to my sister (from Montreal) about vacations that we will probably be doing our final IVF attempt in August. I'm starting my DHEA and several supplements today, first to help with weight loss and also egg quality for 3 months from now as many suggest when preparing your body for IVF (at an older age). I really think I can relax now and just enjoy my summer and maybe find some peace within and also encouragement to look forward to trying again. Being in a better frame of mind by then.

Hubby and I will be going to Montreal for 7 days at the end of July this way I can see my Mom. My sister and BIL have 2 weeks vacation at the beginning of August, so they'll follow us back when we leave to come back home. They'll be staying for a week. Then my brother and his wife will be coming the 2nd week of August to stay. I think it will work out that we can do our cycle sometime in August, even if they're here, it's no big deal if I start stimming (injections) when they are here....as long as my egg retreival is not during that time. I will feel things out as time gets closer with AF(period) and all. At least I'm finally *wanting* to try again. For weeks now I have not had the desire to commit or even really embrace the thought.

No signs of AF(period) yet. It's not like I even know when she should be. I'm a bit confused on dates and when at this point with having cancelled IVF during stimming. And it's not like I can be pregnant because we haven't even done the 'duty' in so long. So with that said, again I wait for her arrival to get a general feel of timing in months ahead.

So that's my update. Thought I'd share as I haven't really been posting much.

God Bless.

Lorrie

Broken hearts do heal in time

I know I'm not posting much anymore. I thought about my blog today and thought I'd give an update.

As you all know since the 'meltdown' I put myself on a much needed break from all fertility treatments. I will say so far on this break, I've lost 8lbs and have more energy and just hate sitting around anymore. Before, my life was consumed with posting on blog, the pregnancy forum I've been a member for 2 years now & researching every aspect of IVF and symptoms, etc. This is a real treat for me. Don't get me wrong, I wish I was well and ready to embark on another cycle, but I know I need to find that place again before I do. I need to find peace within.

Many times my thoughts do get the best of me and I think of how far along I'd be right now (almost 21 weeks). There's this girl on the pregnancy site that got pregnant exactly when I did, infact we had the same due dates. I won't lie, seeing her ticker too often brings me to a place I don't like to be. It hurts. Not in anyway towards her, God no, but it's that 'reminder' that hurts. So I try to stay away and limit myself from that pain.

I have thought about my next cycle. Kind of pondering over when I *think* I will want to do it. I'm feeling July for some reason, but we'll see. I have till October 2010 to use my last approved IVF cycle, but I really don't want to wait that long to try again incase of complications as I've been through so many this year for some reason. A jinx maybe????? Who knows. Just bad timing I guess or better yet, God's way of telling me to take care of me and prepare my body for his blessing. I like to think so in that way.

I will KUP!

God Bless.

Lorrie